Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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