my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize