He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"