Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit