I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
