Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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