Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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