youre lurking in front of me
so that wasnt chicken after all
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
