I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
