It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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