Small penises have feelings too.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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