small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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