Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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