I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
