Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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