You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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