Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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