I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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