It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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