will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Enjoy the penises
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
