Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
