TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
as a side note pls kill me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
