I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
