Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize