Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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