I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
