Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
