EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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