She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
