so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize