why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
