how can u be prego again
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
