it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
