You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
tell me about the eggs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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