A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
