it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
