i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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