he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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