It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
