im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
