better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
