Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
why is half of my head shaved?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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