i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
