is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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