Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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