He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You ruined the universe
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