Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
