Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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