I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
we're so committed to being not committed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
