Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
