Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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