hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
