You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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