i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
