the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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