You smell like stripper and shame
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
