the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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