I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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