lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
