i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
