Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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